"You don't belong here."

I've been a clinical psychologist for 12 years. I've also struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember.

I've noticed things have changed.

The anxious voice that used to whisper occasionally is getting louder. Not just for me, but everyone I know. More frequent. More convincing.

I think I know why.

Social media learned exactly what makes you feel inadequate and serves you more of it, because fear drives clicks. We're comparing our real, messy lives to algorithmic illusions with no one around to reality check them.

Of course the voice gets louder.

These are the lies I hear most, from my patients, from my community, and from the inside of my own head.

Lie 1: "Everyone is judging you."

Your eyes scan for judgment. A blank stare. A yawn. Someone checking their phone. I do this whenever I'm around new people. But research shows most people are running the same scan. Worrying about what you think of them. We're all just trying to look like we know what we're doing.

Lie 2: "Anxiety means something is wrong."

Anxiety ≠ danger. It usually means something is new. Or unfamiliar. Or that you care about what happens next. Sometimes it's excitement in disguise. I've walked into a hundred rooms convinced something terrible was about to happen. The feeling was real. The threat wasn't.

Lie 3: "They're going to figure out you don't belong here."

Some spaces genuinely weren't built for people like you. Or nobody in your life told you it was possible to get this far. But belonging was never theirs to give. You're not here for their approval. You're here for everyone who looks like you, sounds like you, grew up like you, and is watching to see if it's possible.

Lie 4: "You're not good enough."

If you think this, it means you care about doing your best. The people who genuinely aren't trying never think this. The biggest problems I encounter come from people who are overconfident and underdeliver. If you're asking whether you're good enough, you already are.

Lie 5: "You're broken."

Shame makes you believe you are wrong. It's the most nefarious lie. It makes you hide. Guarantees isolation. But if a friend came to you feeling this way, you wouldn't call them broken. You'd stay with them. You'd remind them they are enough. You deserve the same compassion you so easily give to others. You're not broken. You're tired, doing your best. And you are enough, right now.

The lies aren't going to stop. But you don't have to listen.